Parenting
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A Year of June
When you were new to us and the world was new to you, you would sleep on my chest for hours: your knees touching your belly button, your toes pressed against my healing stomach, your body tucked together in a silent ball like a crouched frog, breathing the deep breaths only infants can breathe. In those quiet hours, I inhaled you as if you were a drug or a really good pot of stew cooking on the stove. I would look at your dad beside me, watching us, and hear him say again and again, as he often did in those first few months (and still does now), “how is…
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The Unfinished Everyday
I let the sun hit my face before rolling over and reaching for my coffee mug. Sean had brought me a fresh cup this morning, placing it just far enough away on my nightstand to require my full attention. It is Monday and the house is silent; a contrast from yesterday when we awoke to the low rumble of thunder, vibrating from the pit of the sky’s stomach, full of rain and craving release. June, too, heard it, awoke and wildly squealed from her crib as she sat playing with her toy monkey: the chosen victim for her favorite game “Poke the Eyes”. But today, no sounds escape from the…
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May Awakes At Last
Somehow it is May already, although the world outside still feels groggy from the late awakening of spring. My niece looks at blossoming trees and tells us that “they are awake now.” We smile at the small moment of wisdom she shares. Children always know more than we think. June laughs when we step outside into the windy morning. Her hair, fluffy and blond, waves in the breath of the wind; she kicks her feet in joy. Everything is new and exciting at her age: a cat through the dining room window provokes squeals, the sand between her hands is exceptionally funny, passing cars catch her eye, new toys are…
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The Illusion of Balance
I think of children on teeter totters; up and down they throw one another into the air, up and down, up and down. It is the offset of their weight that encourages the game. It is the joy in the unevenness that brings their laughter. I hear a lot of women talking about this idea of a “balanced” life. They want to achieve this idealistic version of life where work and play are synonymous and equal and fair. In the past few weeks I’ve had people comment on my life, how wildly easy it looks to raise June and be me. For a moment I even believed them. Some have…
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Nostalgia or Something Like It
Being in the sunshine always makes me feel nostalgic. But not for our yellow house or my normal days, so maybe it’s not nostalgia at all that I’m feeling. Maybe it’s something else completely, like longing or daydreaming or channeling back to a previous life. Who knows? But, it feels familiar and good to spend my days under the palms. June adjusted quickly to our routine here, even though she is teething and one hour behind schedule. Sean and I both think she’s happier here, too. But then again that could be our own projections. She sleeps hard after hours in the shaded backyard, swimming in her kiddie pool, barking…